27 Comments
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Leo With Cancer's avatar

There’s a link between the ability to process lactose and the human populations that domesticated cows (chicken or egg which came first) but that ability is concentrated in humans with a larger percentage of Neanderthal blood (common north of Africa and west) versus other early humanoids like the Denisovans. Almond milk is terrible for the environment, uses tons of water. It’s caused a political war in California over water rights and dramatically reduced the water table over a very short period of popularity as farmers switched to the crop. I think for a certain person the culmination of almond milk becoming culturally passed and it being a deeply European quality to be able to process lactose that makes whole milk such a weird flex (in addition to the whole America of it all…)

tariro makoni's avatar

HA YES this is brilliant

Tina Boetto's avatar

This is a great question! My quiet luxury milk is Ripple since it actually has protein - not as chic as Tache and more under the radar since it's made with peas, but it's highly rated in the vegan community.

tariro makoni's avatar

Oh!!!! I’ve yet to try ripple!!!

Tina Boetto's avatar

It's probably more utilitarian, but Ripple's the closest to milk that I've found :) I'm excited for the day my Whole Foods finally gets Tache, I've heard so much about it and their merch is on point.

Leo With Cancer's avatar

I’m a whole milk girlie

Alice White's avatar

“Almond by almond” 😂 fantastic read—your goopXwsj thesis is so fitting but I would like also like to add funny and lighthearted in a quippy way that Gwen and WSJ *wishes* they could be!! Worth my subscription many times over 🩷

tariro makoni's avatar

This made me tear up, like if I’m ever taking myself too seriously pls call authorities 😭 — thank you for getting me and getting trademarked, ILY🥹🥹🥹💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

ET's avatar

“But I’ll spare you from a longer analysis that absolutely no one is asking me for...” False bcs I am now asking 😂 this was so fun and spot on! also the Celine w.out phoebe thing WOW. Bcs the whole milk (esp the weird alt right unpasteurized overlap???) - in glass bottles crowd are definitely the same vibe as ppl buying phoebe philo not caring about the cancel culture of it all!! They want what they want and they can afford not to care frankly🥛

tariro makoni's avatar

LOLOL so many good points

Katie Stone's avatar

Tariro the concealer… it’s hands down best I’ve ever tried

maybe: andré's avatar

i think this means that we need the ITG alum herself to buy, try, and expound on the encore 👀

tariro makoni's avatar

Hahahahah you & @katie are enablers — i shall (Katie you’ve influenced me)

Naomi Barrales's avatar

Would love to know where raw milk fits in this hierarchy

Andrea Capodilupo's avatar

so what about 1% milk

Vera's avatar

I’m still stuck in the 80’s (I wasn’t even alive) with my love for soy milk, vanilla flavored. Either bought in bulk from Costco or Edensoy 🙂‍↕️😝

Aisling's avatar

What about the girlies who don't drink any milk at all, no dairy or non-dairy alternatives 🙂‍↔️

Jane Li's avatar

Have you tried Three Trees Almond, Oat, Pistachio, and Soy Milks? They're subtle luxury at its finest, and are a clean product (seed oil and gum free compared to Tache and Koatji)

Natalie Marie's avatar

How am I just seeing this!!! My milk choices are somewhat chaotic? I go with oat or unsweetened almond milk for iced drinks, depending on how sweet/creamy I want it. Oat for hot. That said, pistachio milk has me in a chokehold. Cautiously intrigued by Koatji; probably will try it.

I try to be strictly whole milk when it comes to my Greek yogurt, ice creams, etc. Non-fat gives me breakouts idk

Natalie Marie's avatar

Also, what fascinating observations you’ve made.

Kalesha Madlani's avatar

Koatji for the at home ceremonial grade matchas and organic milk from grass fed and finished cows for everything else

Hannah Schneider's avatar

One day last year realized how much I was spending on oat milk… and for what? I’m back on dairy milk for the first time since mid 2010s and it FEELS RIGHT.

Irene Kim (김애린)'s avatar

Whole milk or bust. Skim milk tastes horrible!