quiet luxury milk.

are u drinking status milk? we should talk about that... (and other quick hits!)

A year ago, I had a viral TikTok series called “Quiet Luxury Foods". We cheekily unpacked (but very seriously analyzed!) the merits of various consumables, from Tache pistachio milk to Les Pres Sales butter to Diet Coke, as if they existed on a spectrum of “quiet luxury”. I’ve gotten countless DMs asking me to bring the series back, and I am finally willing to comply (with a twist, ofc). This time, we’re going all in on something lightly introduced last year, but as a culture, not discussed enough: milk as a status symbol. 

We often think of status symbols as the big-ticket, conspicuous displays of wealth – flying private, staying at the Aman, aaannnd a closet of birkins! Being transparent, consistent with last year, our reference to “quiet luxury food” is…. well, clickbait (doing a bit of a bit innit!). Jokes aside, the crux of the conversation serves as an exploration of the middle layer of status. Here, the commodification of everyday choices ultimately becomes codified as overt displays of wealth. The Yolanda Hadid fridge was built brick by brick, almond by almond, after all. 

Milk serves as the perfect case study to reveal this “middle layer” consumer relationship between status and culture (the trademarked swan song). While known as a basic commodity, milk has somehow found a way to subvert its utility to justify playing by status’ rules. For an afflicted some (myself included), status has transformed milk – particularly non-dairy varieties –  into a symbol of nuanced cultural capital. It’s not really about your taste (the milk you choose to drink), but about the underlying access that underpins how you knew about which milk to drink, coupled with the means to continue its leisurely consumption at $8-12 per 32 ounce carton (range values are anchored by the price of Tache via instacart in NYC). When baselining at $9, that’s 600% more costly than 32 ounces of “normal”, non-organic grocery store milk (approx. $3 per 32 ounce carton). Across the non-dairy milk hive, many of us clutch our pearls at the price, yet continue to dedicate ourselves to the cause… why?

Status Milk — a non-exhaustive evolution 

• The 80s brought us Soy Milk, the first non-dairy milk that signaled status, though less conspicuously than we see it now. It was progressive, and to certain communities, signaled an awareness of both the environment and plant-based lifestyles, inspired by travels to ashrams and buddhist temples that introduced a more “integrated” way of life to western culture. 

• Almond Milk is the Goop of non-dairy milks. It rose to popularity in the mid 2000s alongside a more tangible, status-driven rise of wellness culture. I’d say this is the first milk that was really used to signal an aspirational level of value alignment. Non-dairy was transforming from grungy to chic.

• Cashew was a blip, but an important one – does anyone remember the chokehold of Blue Print and that $11 bottle of cashew milk? That was PRE the cost of goods inflation crisis in the 2020s, and somehow dads were more concerned about the consumption of avo toast?

• Then we have the throne of oat milk, which immediately resonated across culture as THAT GIRL. While almond milk paved the way, oat milk redefined non-dairy milk as an everyday luxury. It tasted great, and it was maddeningly pricey. Perfect!

^ iconic time in our history

Tache — quiet luxury’s protege

But if soy crawled so almond could walk, and oat could run, then Tache has her own pilot. In my first quiet luxury video last year, I said that Tache is the quiet luxury milk, and I stand by it. Aside from tasting delicious and luxurious, Tache also did a lot of things right: 

1. They launched with all the right press their target demo would care about (spectrum of Vogue to Bon Appetit)

2. Hannah Bronfman was an early advocate, and was rumored to be on their cap table (HB’s influence is palpable, existing on the Mt. Rushmore of many a wellness-focused millennial)

3. Tache is priced.. Exorbitantly. 

In 2022, Tache wasn’t really available in big stores (aside from maybe Erewhon, if that counts). But by 2023, Tache was already considered the obvious milk of choice for the $50 L’apartment 4F cereal. As a product of its lore (and tbh because it’s very very good), Tache has started to expand. They’ve launched in Target, and are now more consistently available across retailers across the country. I still think she’s a quiet luxury, anchored by price (and taste), but I also think there’s room to consider who her more niche successor may be. By that definition, I’m chips in on Koatji.

Koatji — oatly’s richer, cooler (half) sister who would never cop to attending le rosey from grade 5

I’m proud to report that Koatji should be your top contender for what’s Up Next. It’s an organic, GMO free, “slow fermented plant milk” crafted by Michelin chefs who created a proprietary blend of fermented rice and oats to deliver a better alternative to oat milk (no added sugars!). The surprising result? Thanks to the fermented rice, it’s a subtly sweet milk (as if you added a hint of maple syrup to oat Malk)… that also serves as a probiotic. Sorcery. And so fire in a matcha (rocky’s or bust). If that wasn’t enough, they’re based in Copenhagen and LA… but manufactured.. in Montecito (!!?). If what I’m typing doesn’t sound like cultural capital, young rich ppl clickbait, keep reading for anecdotal insight. 

As I attribute so much of my product discovery, I was introduced to Koatji by my best friend who happens to be an LA EHG (elusive hot girl). Her lifestyle consists of a lot of prada, bristol farms x erewhon (never the smoothies), sound baths, and chic getaways to wine country (she’s also a sommelier… for fun). Her bathroom exists as my very own Vogue closet for beauty product discovery, and when she texted in our groupchat about Koatji being the best milk on the market, I purchased it immediately. Per my review above, she wasn’t wrong (and she never is). Surprisingly, the only person I follow that has posted about Koatji is Snaxshot. From what I can tell, there has been zero press, no viral moments on TikTok, and they only launched in Erewhon last month. So fun to be so early to something with the capacity to be so… niche, yet powerful.

F status and lore i just wanna be chic

My final note on quiet luxury milk, is that the elusive international hot girls (EIHGs) aren’t really that into Tache, oat, or Koatji. They’re proudly dedicated to drinking whole milk…. which I’d argue is the most chic, anyway. Whole milk serves as the final infinity stone for those who have the means to drink Tache by the gallon, but choose to exist “above” non-dairy. Whole milk is simply a part of who they are, and deviating from that feels like Celine without Phoebe Philo. 

**I must note that there’s certainly a throughline between the return of heritage and the American dream that positions actual dairy from actual cows to have a statusy comeback of their own in miss ‘murica. But I’ll spare you from a longer analysis that absolutely no one is asking me for... 

I’ll leave you with a couple questions — what are your thoughts on status milks? Have you tried Tache or Koatji? And if you haven’t, are they compelling enough that you would like to (budgets unlimited, access abound)? Or, are you the chic ones amongst us all? — whole milk baddies until, well, the cows come home. 

Kate Moss photographed for Vogue US, 1995 by Ellen Von Unwerth.

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U didn’t ask for an encore, but I’m giving you one: a few quick hits that interested me this weekend —  

1. The net a porter sale to mytheresa is another fascinating shift within the realm of luxury x ecom & the dying aspirational economy. What do we think this means for net a porter? I love mytheresa (also a fast shipper), but selfishly hoping they keep the same day courier delivery from net a porter alive. She’s truly my life’s greatest companion. 

2. I have likely been living under a rock, but I just found out that Victoria Beckham Beauty is infusing Augustinus Bader within their concealer? This is less about how good the product is (haven’t tried), and more about the business of beauty — it’s brilliant. I had a viral video last year on whether or not we’re going foundation free, and the comments were the most active of any of my videos to date. Like the girls were DEBATING!! I wish I had a beauty brand so I could have incorporated learnings into something tangible. A consistent theme was needing less foundation because of better skincare, and also people shifting to using spot concealer more. People also lamented lazy brand attempts to blend skincare and beauty. I feel like this VBx AB concealer pen exists at the epicenter of that symphony. Fab!

3. Virgil Abloh’s protégée is moving on to Zara. This is such an interesting time for Zara amidst a less satisfied aspirational shopper. I spoke to Business Insider about evolving themes for Zara on Friday. Apparently there’s lots of stuff cookin in that universe!

Alright, that’s certainly enough from me. As always, thank you for reading Monday’s edition of trademarked. As a reminder, this is the last week where all posts are free ( a month of try before you buy!). Starting next week, most of this content will be available for paid subscribers only. Thank you so much for all of your support thus far — all of your messages truly mean the world to me <3. ILY!!!

TM x