STEALTH STATUS: What Your Manicure Says About U (it's political)

What if Veblen and Bourdieu accompanied ur favorite elusive (international) hot girls to the nail salon??

guess who :)

Consider this entry to be the cheeky continuation of our niche but mighty quiet luxury milk universe. If you’re not familiar with that, the TLDR = we unpacked how the milk you drink serves as a stealth status symbol, interwoven and contextualized across modern history.

As a victim of thinking critically and deeply about the everyday, specifically about what feels central to “womanhood” as I know it (e.g., elusive (international) hot girl culture) — I was recently struck by the concept of our nails. Last week, an EHG in my life (& a famous person on this platform, but I shan’t tag her for the chicness of elusive anonymity) texted with a request to debrief the juicy bits of our lives over manicures. I let her know that my Russian mani wasn’t ready for a refresh (because I had assumed she was at MINIMUM getting gel?), but she texted with a quick nullification: she’s strictly on regular polish.

I set my phone down, STUNNED, because I fully forgot that anyone still goes in for regular polish. Similar to my understanding that elusive international hot girls drink WHOLE MILK, I realized that manicures are deeply political….. not LIBERAL AGENDA vs MAGA political…. but status hierarchy-political. I need everyone to take a deep breath and simply follow me on this journey, ok??? Because this MATTERS. Like, Veblen never got to go to a nail salon and analyze the discrete ways status shows up in the everyday of modern womanhood (sorry bud)…. but WE get to, so we HAVE to…. yk?? LET’S DIG IN —

COVERT/OVERT STATUS — The Definitive Nail Hierarchy

1. The bare nail hegemony. “Aww you seek status validation via your collection of Birkins? Cute.” Bare nails are obviously, always going to be number ONE on the list. However, I’m here to infuse nuance into the discourse.

   1. There are bare nail girls who give Jane Birkin — they’re the energetic portrayal of NEVER having thought about getting a manicure in their life… it’s also important to underscore that she also naturally exists in the same cohort of people who discuss plane travel as “hitching a ride” (*cough* flying private with ur r!ch conglomerate). Jane Birkin types AUTHENTICALLY love nature, would prefer to be Emerson than Didion or Babitz, and because of their general flippancy…. are so chic it REEEEKS out of every pore. Unfortunately, you’re born with this (i’m sorry), and it typically emerges out of exposure to either deeep wealth at a very young age, or borderline nihilistic parents who taught you that life’s pleasures are YOUR OWN, not ever to be dictated by mass-interest (a frightening endeavor!). Readers — your ancestors have primed you to know when you come across a Jane Birkin Bare Nail (aka ur favorite fashion twins). And that’s why she’s top of the list.

   2. Then, there are bare nail girls who give Lauren Santo Domingo — aka they actively talk about how they do NOT eff w/ nail polish when asked about their nails (vs the idc? shrug^)…. either out of practicality, simplicity, or the appeal of chicness (and a likely exposure to the Jane Birkin during a stint at international boarding school). I’m nOT saying this is the copy/paste bare-nail archetype, but it IS the intentional one, and THAT’S OK, GR8 even!!! Self awareness is hot. This cohort is bare, but with a very chic edge — they will absolutely invest in the $200 horn nail buffer or the $250 bare Japanese manicure (cuticle trimming and a special technique that buffs your nails and makes them look like they have a clear coat). They will sometimes go for a REGULAR polish, but it’s rare, and either in a neutral (axis = Hermes’ Rose Porcelain/Essie’s Ballet Slipper to Chanel’s Rogue Noir), bright red (always perfectly matched to their undertones — cool vs warm), or clear. Designs/ French requires more effort than a simple swipe, aka a direct counter to their identity :).

2. The REGULAR POLISH TITANS. Like I’m about to say something preposterous…. but almost every rich girl in the below cohorts secretly WISHES she was a regular polish queen. Why? It represents the following: strong & healthy enough nails to not flake/break/crumble when exposed to the elements of every day life + the luxury of TIME to get your nails done on a ~weekly basis. This is the leisure class manicure, sorry. As such, the lore and ranking is self-explanatory… but bonus points if 1) you have stayed consistent to the same 3 colors for the majority of your life, and/or 2) your manicurist comes to your home because you simply can’t be bothered (in an aristocratic way, not a reality tv way…)

3. This might be controversial, but the Jane Birkin’s cousin… say, Chloe Sevingy…. is pro the “cheap” hole in the wall gel OR regular polish manicure (gen z gets bonus points if u let them get chipped in a charli xcx-universe way). Understanding status is understanding nuance, so I’m boldly stating that not everyone who goes to a hole in the wall benefits from the embodiment of this lore (and attributed status). It communicates the same level of rocker-flippancy that’s like ya I may not be income dependent but I still think it’s lame that you’re spending a weird amount of money on a simple manicure. It’s Carole Radziwill pre RHONY tbh. This is niche, sorry,

4. RICH BITCH NAILS. This is a lumped category because upon deep introspection, I don’t think there’s a difference between $400 design-heavy nails, a $350 Japanese Gel (custom color mix), or a $300 Russian by an expert practitioner (natural hard/soft gels only… didn’t u know that micro toxins can seep into ur nail beds?? ). You CARE about your nails, and by virtue, you CARE that they look.. spectacular. This is not inclusive of those who get expensive Russians to lengthen the span of time between manicures, they get Russians to have Zendaya’s nails in that one Louis Vuitton ad (niche lore). Sociologically, the convo on length/design vs no design, et al is less about wealth and more about the cohort of wealth you exist within. I’m NOT going there vis-a-vis status x class delineations, but it is a political dive (in every way, this time).

5. Mid-tier manis (encompasses dip, gel, acrylics… non-prestige Russian manis, etc), typically ~$75-$150. I’m sorry, you’re bottom of the list. You care, but you don’t care enough to go the distance (or feign enough indifference to not care at all). This doesn’t mean you’re not luxurious, special, or elusive, it just means that you’re not deriving any additional forms of status or lore from your manicure (and that’s ok — you probably don’t need it anyway).

Alright — enough from me — this was fun??? What/Who did I miss, archetypically? I tried to keep it broad so we can dig deeper into juicier nuances via the comments/our groupchat? I want to hear all of your thoughts, and always curious if this resonates…whether personally, or if you have an E(I)HG in your life who fits the bill!!

LOVE YOU MOST, CHAT FRI <3

TM x

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