Jelly divorced Peanut Butter & hired hailey bieber's [strawberry] publicist
ALT -- TARIFF DRESSING: a case study on the emotional, economic, and geopolitical conditions that made ~plastic!~ the (high-margin) material to wear this summer
You know what’s unfathomably THRILLING? Being right, often. And as someone who is actively battling internal armies of perfectionism in therapy each week, the bar I set for “aspirational” has been anchored to subprime mortgage crisis levels of compounding interest over my 28 years on this earth. But really, all you need to know is that when I say one group of people always seems to get it RIGHT, oftentimes years before everyone else catches up (aspirational!!!!!), I mean it.
A telling example might be the Row’s discontinued Mara jelly sandals (pictured on
above). They had one season of glory and infamy (bc… they were poorly made and broke.. a LOT), yet now live as the most evil, devious, and wickedly haunted ghost for summer 2025. I remember telling a couple of my EIHGs last year that I’d scored a pair of the alaia mesh ballet flats ahead of summer 2024, to which I received many I mean they’re cute, but if you really want the next big grail, go for the row’s new jelly sandals… they’ll be the shoe everyone will realize they want by next summer (2025). To which, I [delusionally] scoffed and thought, whatever — if they’re worth it I’ll do it next year. But who wanted to tell me that by next year, baby, there would be no plane???
Now, every summer trend piece I’ve read over the past month has referenced the Mara as the unattainable summer inspiration. Some writers are suggesting we go the route of inspired duuuupes (these ones are popular), and others are choosing other jellies altogether (these are my #1 pick for highest potential to be 2026’s mara + i’ve only seen abnormally hot ppl wear these flip flops).
And I agree ^ BUT there’s also something much deeper happening (than just haunted mara lore), and I have yet to see anyone truly GO THERE (aka, our calling card lol): like right now, we’re pinging between rapidly shifting brand/consumer attitudes on value and pricing, fueled by the kind of hedonic escapism that only flows when anchored by macro volatility (as we’ve discussed).
Which makes jellies especially interesting as a nod towards what the post-Tr*mp Tariff consumer might be willing to rationalize — where iterations like Chloe’s $600 jelly sandal are *the* litmus test (that are also getting a lot of press).
But hey, if you were one of the elusive (international) hot girls who paid $900 for the row’s take on jelly (plastic!) last year—well, you already knew that ;).